How to Let Go of Perfectionism & Unrealistic Expectations? ft. Mikaela Gibbs | Ep #4 Artwork

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Authentic Media Podcast

How to Let Go of Perfectionism & Unrealistic Expectations? ft. Mikaela Gibbs | Ep #4

December 23, 2024 • Danielle J. Martin

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In this episode of the Authentic Media Podcast, we explore the powerful journey of self-discovery and embracing authenticity. Join us as we dive into the challenges of overcoming perfectionism and breaking free from performance-based identities.

Our special guest, Mikaela Gibbs—a lawyer and business owner—shares her insights on navigating life’s uncertainties with vulnerability, trust, and faith. We discuss the importance of sitting with ourselves, identifying broken areas, and finding healing through authenticity. Don’t miss this inspiring conversation about letting go of perfectionism and stepping into a life rooted in Faith and Purpose.

Want to launch a Podcast in 2025? or do you want to focus on rebranding yourself?

Connect with Mikaela Gibbs:
IG: @mllgibb
TikTok: @mllglaw

Chapters:
0:00 - Intro
4:09 - Our lives impact others
7:17 - Surrendering
10:47 - Hiding Behind Perfectionism
21:16 - Who Am I?
28:57 - The Podcast Blueprint
29:38 - Heal Your Insecurities
40:42 - Are you Operating in Your Perfectionism?
51:31 - Going First
58:02 - What Does The Next Season Look Like?

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This week on the authentic media podcast, you don't know who you are. You don't know the authentic version of yourself. You haven't sat down to say, who are you girl? Sit down, look her in the eye and see where she's broken. If you were to ask me what his next year looked like, I don't know. Like, I don't even know what next month looks like.

He has. Just put me in a whole different season of like surrender and trust. I have never been here before. You're not gonna start instructing people and mentoring people on how to get to the authentic version of themselves without you going there first. That part. Are we gonna unpack that?

Okay. Okay, honey. Who are you? Who are you? I asked you first. Okay. So we're here with Michaela Gibbs in the building. Yeah. Welcome to the new space. Thank you feeling? I love it. It's cozy. It's new. It's got a new mindset on it. Ooh. It's got some like, we're comfortable. Yeah. We're about to for real share. Oh, a hundred percent.

Yeah. We're about to get into it deep. This ain't professional. We about to say some things. We about to say some things. Yeah. I got some things to say. That is like your signature dance. Okay. So for those who don't know, Mikayla has actually been on the show before. So originally we were obviously behind the spotlight, but now we are authentic media podcasts today.

And so we are going down this space of like perfectionism and, but before we get there, we need to like update the people. And also set the foundation for those who do not know either of us because it's a new platform. It's a new show i'm super excited and in case people don't know like i'm kicking it off with like Really significant people that have like been a part of the journey, you know Yeah, if you know, you know if you don't know, you know, you know um So yeah, i'm really excited to have My soul sister.

Soul sister, soul sister. Hey sister, soul sister. Okay, hopefully you guys don't hear the dog in the background because he's just going off. He ain't stopping. Anyways, Mikayla Gibbs. Yes. Here, lawyer. Lawyer, law firm, law firm, owner, business owner, entrepreneur, all the things, all the things. Yeah. We were talking about runner.

She's a runner. She's a track star. Oh my God. I'm not going to run away, Lord. I'm not going to run away! I'm here! Surrender! Yeah, no, all the things. The last time we were on this podcast, I was floundering. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know if I was going to still work for the same lady. I didn't know if I was going to go into big law.

I was just, like, floundering. And in the staying still, yeah, the Lord was like orchestrating the pieces and found myself with a book of business and was just like, okay, time to run with this thing. Yeah. And I've only seen the Lord's faithfulness on it and it's operating well and in the green. Praise God.

Praise God. Praise God. Seriously? Yeah. That's beautiful. Honestly, friend. His provision in that is just That's so good. Praise God. No, seriously. Praise God. I don't think your dog liked us getting loud. Hopefully it's fine. He's good. You guys can hear us. We should be fine. Um, but that's beautiful friend. And I think like I've told you before, like watching you like along your journey has been just very beautiful and empowering to me because I was like, girl, like if he can do it for you, I know he could do it for me.

And I was just like watching you in your space was something like I needed to see for myself because it really like forced me to believe God for something I've never believed in before. I love that. It's crazy. Like when we don't realize what we need. Yeah. I don't think I even realized what I was doing.

Wow. You know, like that it was going to inspire you. And I think still sometimes when you say that to me, I'm just like, you're like, I haven't done it yet. It's like crazy to think like, Oh, I was obedient. Yeah. And stepping out and like starting, I moved out on my own in March and started my own law firm in April of 2024 of 2024 and still thriving and still thriving in the green in the green.

That's the Lord. But it was like, Hey girl, you need to just take the leap. And like, I had a friend who literally was like, Ooh, it sounds like you're like being challenged to have. faith here. And I was like, Ooh, I don't want to. But when I think about like, if I would have stayed where I was at, which was not bad, it was like living with my aunt and uncle and living with family.

It's just like, it's time for you to like go out on your own. Sit with yourself and become who I've called you to be. Wow. That's good. Yeah. That's so good. I didn't know it was going to impact you though. So I love that. Yeah. It's, it's interesting how like your walk in life, Um, and I think I've always been like a firm believer that it's like, it's never really about you.

It's, it's like, sometimes it really is for someone else, but I think that, you know, in the midst of it all, like, we tend to obviously focus on our own situation because you're in it, but it's like, You really don't know how like your life is blessing someone else which like reminds me of like why we have to be The light in the darkness like we have to be yeah um, this world is so dark and when I think about just Even just where i've been in the last couple of months I think you know this like i'll be honest and say that like I never imagined myself in this space of like Doing this doing this living on your own living on my own like being an obstacle in obscurity all over again, but like in a different way, because it's like, you know, I think when I think about moving to Topeka, I think about that sacrifice, I'm like, that was obscurity, right?

That was obscurity. That was supposed to be your one season. That was supposed to be the one surrender, you know, like, and it's interesting because it's like, as a believer, I've understood that, like, this walk is not like a one time surrender thing. Like, we learned at The Woman Evolved that, like, no, there's different levels of surrender, honey, like, this is not a one time payment, you're done.

Like, no, this is a monthly payment. I loved, I heard it once that, like, you should be able to look back over your life and see a series of crosses. Ooh. Of, like, areas where you had to surrender. Yeah. And like, nope, I'm going to lay this down. I was like, dang, that's good. I was like, man, I want people to be able to look back over my life and see a series of crosses.

Where she's had to lay down what she wanted, what she thought she wanted, what, all of that. And be like, okay, Lord. But I love it because it's like the fruitfulness and the image of that after is like he gives us what we've always needed. Yeah. And really what we, like what we're supposed to have. Yeah. It's like, I could have had all these plans for myself, but The moment that I choose that cross it's like you're saying yes to something so much bigger than oh my god Can we please talk about that?

Yeah, I was thinking about this this morning. I was just like, okay I know I said yes, and I was actually talking to like my girlfriend's earlier and I said I said yes a long time ago But I never knew what I was saying yes to. I was just like, yes, I'm here. Like, I'm here, I'm laying it all down. And I think that back then there were a couple of sacrifices I made, but it was like, it was a cross of its own.

Yeah. It was like, it was like a mini little,

but then like, as the journey and as like these months have went. on this year, I just, it's interesting. I just would have never imagined this space, but it's interesting because it really has me in this space of like, trust and like, having to believe God for something I literally have never seen before, like no other.

Like if you were to ask me, what does next year look like? I don't know. Yeah. Like, I don't even know what next month looks like. I'm literally taking it like not even a day, an hour at a time. Sometimes that's all the best you can do. It's just like, it's like one foot in front of the other because he has just put me in a whole different like season of like surrender and trust.

And it's like, Oh, like I have never been here before. I have never. Like, I feel like the blind man walking. I have no idea. The beautiful thing about that is, is that, like, and I was imagining this where you're like talking about one step in front of the other, like when you can only see so far, you have to be so close to the Lord because you have to hear his voice for like, what's the next step?

Yeah. Lord, how do I put this other foot in front of the other? Yeah. And like when there's so much light, it's like you get to walk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm not, you know, I'm not walking through anything. Right. Right. The Lord is good. The Lord is faithful. Life is good. But when it like things go dark, you're like, I need him to guide every single step.

Yeah. To just show me. Like, where do I go? But it's such a season of closeness to him and actually discovering and sitting with parts of ourselves that, you know, that for so many years we were so capable of hiding. And coming across as this perfect, put together, you know, look at us. Yeah, let's get to that.

You're doing your rant. Yeah, I was like, okay, so when we talked about like what our topic was going to be about today, we ended up talking about this idea of like perfectionism. And I said, you know what? I think it's a perfect topic because it really kind of, you know, Um, is the centerpiece right now. I think of what a lot of people are Going through and like really kind of like living out but not really like addressing Yeah, and so when I think about like helping people develop their brand it really starts with you and it starts with like Who you are at your core?

Yeah, and you have to address that person because as a creative and when I say that I mean like we're all All creatives. It doesn't matter if you're working corporate, if you're a business owner, entrepreneur, we are all creatives. And so like when I think about helping people in developing their brand, it's like you have to start with your core.

You have to figure out like who you are as a person and how did, how did you get here? Why do you think the way that you think like, are we going to unpack that? Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's do it. I think how did you get here? So many opportunities to present a perfect, a perfect side of ourselves, like specifically myself moving to Kansas City.

It's a new city. Nobody knows me. They don't know where I've come from, what's going on. They don't know anything about me. And it's like funny that there were several people in this past season who kept saying to me, like, who are you? Who are you? Who are you? They're like, well, maybe it's like the Lord is asking you that, like, that's a deeper question that the Lord is asking you, like, who are you?

But I think I just got so comfortable hiding. And I think, honestly, that like goes back to like, even parts of myself holding myself back business wise. Have I got so comfortable putting on this perfection image, but like who we are and what we're called to do and the testimony of our lives is our brand.

And like, like you said, like through leading from that place is how we get to where we need to go. So who am I? Let's unpack that. Yeah. I think when I took the moment to sit with myself after I got rid of. Like just doing a bunch of dating and like things that were allowing me to hide who I was because you know I was showing up in those spaces with a vulnerable face Or you know, I was brave that felt brave to me in that moment But there was a part of myself that I hadn't been addressing and when I think back to it, it came back to this place of safety and how like I look back at young Michaela and how basically I've created this perfect life for myself so that I can control things and make things safe.

Wow. Because like for me, like I didn't feel ultimately safe, like in childhood. Yeah. Like I think growing up with, and I love my parents and my One of my parents doesn't do this anymore, but like growing up in a household like where drugs are being sold, people are coming in and out of your house, you know, you're being exposed to lots of different lifestyles.

You never know if the police are going to come. You never know, you know, and it also requires you to hide. There is so much that you can't share because if you share that, you know, illegal activity is being happening, it's happening in your house, like you're going to get everyone else caught up, you know, so, but like that space of like a lack of safety.

And then in that, like, I think just growing up, honestly, like with not a lot. Like so many people do, you don't have, like, your parents are doing a lot of working and like trying to like hustle and strive and they're not always able to come to you and ask you like, how are you and how is your day and what are you feeling?

You know, it's like, if you didn't present that in the moment, then like nobody was going to circle back to like, are you good? Right. You know, and so I think also emotionally not having a safe space to share. with my parents of like, you know, that made me scared or this is how I'm feeling or, you know, somebody said this and this impacted how I see myself.

There's just so much lack of safety that I think when I got the moment to control my narrative and control my image and control, control, control, control, control, you know, when I got so like, when I got the opportunity to do that, I did it. And I created a dang. Good image. Wow. A dang good image. Yeah, he said, and the Lord was like, no, I mean, like, I was doing all the things I was like, I mean, for me, like, ministry was always like my goal.

So it was like, I will put myself in every situation to get my next thing, um, to ultimately, hopefully, like, it was like, hopefully to become a pastor someday because I knew I felt this burning desire of like preach on the inside of me. Right. And so I was just kind of like checking the boxes, um, per se. I mean, of course, I was trying to do it from a pure heart.

Um, but that was my drive. Right. And the Lord was like, Yeah, girl, like the way that I got your life going is like, that is not, not that preaching and all that stuff is not a part of it, but you can't hide yourself behind these images and like, of being this just, you know, really great church woman, church girl, all of these areas.

I was just really like in a good hidden space. It didn't require me to like really be this person that I don't know, like this unknown You know, it just it wasn't challenging me necessarily in that way because I think I what I have things that I'm good at like we all do but This new space is like I have no idea.

I'm because I'm becoming And I'm learning who who she is. Yeah, I think for the first time like just realizing like Okay. Like, I'm enough and I believe it. Right. I'm worthy and I believe it. Mm. I'm no longer gonna stay in anything longer than I need to. Yeah. Because I know what I'm worth. Right. That's good.

And that's like a first Ooh, you know, for, you're like, okay, like I don't need to say yes to this, or like, this is treating me less than, right. I know I deserve, so I'm not like staying in relationships longer than I need to. Yeah. I'm not entertaining things with people. Yeah. And I don't need to anymore because it's just like, I now know.

I have a choice. Yeah. I don't have to serve you. Yeah. I don't. I don't have to people please. Yeah. No. Yeah. And just stop operating from that broken space, because I mean, for myself, it was, I didn't feel safe at home. And so I'm perpetually trying to gravitate towards this safe space, like in life. And I think like trying to create it for myself, but then I think ultimately like this savior complex of like, now I'm trying to create that for everyone else.

Wow. Yeah. Whether it's in friendships, relationships, I was like, not really like looking for projects. But I think just seeing like, you're like, Oh, I can work on you a little bit, which I think is such an interesting thing about our friendship. And like, I think why we're so close. I think we both have, um, A similar broken thing in us where we did that broken thing of whether it like a lack of safety But also this like I can create this perfect image of myself.

Yeah, and everyone will believe that But reality is is like she's not good and yeah, we've got to like address that Yeah, and we identified that within in ourselves. Yeah, and we really like connected in that way of like Oh my god, thank you for not making me feel like I'm crazy. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And like, first of all, like, Validating. Yeah. What I'm saying that I'm feeling. Right. And like, thank you for, like, sharing. I'm proud of you. Yeah. The funny thing is though, like, I think our friendship has also created a safe space for both of us. Yes. To like, find ourselves authentically. Yeah. And I think in our first interaction and where literally I was just like, yeah, I think I literally told you the first day that I met you, I loved you.

Yeah. That was crazy. Yeah. But it really was that of like, I think I did identify up front that you needed me to create a safe space for you. Yeah. But I didn't know I needed. Yeah. But I think in reverse. And which is why we were able to continue in our friendship was like, I knew you were going to create one for me too.

And that is like a first. Wow. That's a first. I feel like you just told me you love me again. I do love you. That's so cute. Really, but that's like a first, you know, I mean. And I definitely do have relationships in life, but it was like specifically recognizing this person needs to create a safe space for them.

Yeah, yeah. We definitely did that for each other. Like, you know, like it was reciprocated. A hundred percent. And I think, even when I think back to like this, These last couple of like months and how like you've been there for me in a way and I've been just so blessed for you and to have a friendship like you because you were the first person that I called, you know, like, Oh my God, like we had to like, you know, have this like mini intervention here because I'm going to break down, you know, and I don't know if I can save myself anymore because that's.

That was the thing. It was like putting on this like perfection and like this persona, like I have it all together. Like, I think I was so used to saving my own self or like just having these feelings and like tucking them away and being like, I'm going to be okay. But it was like, this was a time where it's like, I can't, I like, I can't hide in the, I cannot hide any of this, which like, interestingly, like opened up.

All of these like can of worms of like It really just uprooted really everything that I was like hiding and all of like the broken wounds and everything So going back to the question of like, you know, like who are you like as you were talking? I was just thinking like if I could sum it up in like a couple of words Um, i've said this before that i've always wanted to write a book called the golden child Um, that's her.

That's her. That's me. That's me I am the golden child in so many words like that is just Just how to sum it up because I'm the youngest of six, you know, I was like essentially the only Child of my family that my parents, um had together, you know, I have steps Step brothers and sisters, but like we don't really call each other that like those are my brothers and sisters But like i'm the only child my parents had together So i'm like the glue and so I think by the time my parents got to me It was like okay.

We got we actually know what we're doing. We know how to like actually each raise a child and we're gonna give her all of the love and everything that we could have hoped to give to our other children, but we couldn't at the time because they didn't have the resources. They didn't have the money. You know, like when you think about your parents, like they just didn't understand yet.

So by the time they have like their fifth, sixth kid, they're like, we got to figure it out. You know what I mean? So I think they were loving me so hard. To a space that almost sheltered me Um, and I think that you know I love them to death and I think they are amazing parents and they've done a great job, but I think there was parts of them that um sheltered sheltered me too much to a space where um I couldn't really identify like myself.

I think it was more so I was kind of told Who I was going to be before I could think about who? Like god told me I was going to be it was more like okay Um You know, this pressure to, um, just do it right. And I think it was because like, you know, when I look at my siblings and love them to death, but it's like, when I think about like what I was doing at the time and being really successful and cheering and my career, it was like, Essentially on the outside looking in I looked I was doing it.

I look like I had it all together And so it was like a kind of a saying without saying that like, okay Well since I'm on this path of like having it all figured out I might as well figure it out and make sure I see it stay on this path. It was like an unspoken habit. Yeah. Always have it figured out.

Even though deep down, I don't know like what's going on and where I'm going to be. And so I think I just kind of low key adopted this identity of like perfectionism that was like, okay, well I'm going to go to school, get a job, do all the things right. Like get in a relationship, like just do all the things like the American way.

And. Not even that, but I'm going to go a step further. I'm going to go get my master's. I'm going to go, like, just strive to the fullest. And I think I operated like that majority of my life. Yeah, me too. And I look back and I'm like, Wow, like, you must have been exhausted. Like, when did you rest? You didn't.

I did not. I did not. Right now. Right now. Literally in this season. Yeah. So it was, like, interesting to kind of, like, have that. Um, get revealed to both of us like as we were talking about like our childhood and like, you know, um, where did this like striving habit come from? Like, was it, um, did it be created?

Like, you know, so like discovering that with you, I think was just so beautiful for me because I'm like, wow, like I've always had this, like, like go hustle mentality, but it came from a space of performance because it was the only space I felt accepted. It was like, okay, well, if no one in this family is going to do it right, I'm going to make sure I do it right.

I'm going to make sure that like, I make them proud. I make them proud. Yeah. And then going back to a space of like, you know, that's why it was maybe difficult for me to even speak up because I was so busy, like, just trying to figure it out, you know, so when I think about even as an adult, I found myself, um, having a hard time speaking up at work and friendships and relationships.

It was like this, inner child that was never fully, like, heard. And I think when we discovered that, I was like, right, you just keep showing up. We just keep showing up. As the little girl and I just kept asking myself I'm like, why is it so difficult for me to speak up? Like am I afraid to like get my feelings hurt or am I afraid that they're not gonna like me?

It was like all of these different questions But I think the main thing that really kind of like came up was that I never was asked Hmm, I never was asked when I was younger like How are you? What do you think? Like kind of you know, I was just told right and this is not even a knock down to You know our parents at all because they only knew what they knew at the time But I think that i've just discovered that Not being asked, like how do you feel about this?

How do you, what do you think about this kind of put me in this space to just like follow friendships, relationships, like it just put me in a space to just be quiet and like not know how to think and like not know how to like have a brain for myself. Wow. So it's just interesting how you have to be able to sit with that.

Yeah. In order to find out who you are and why. What you're gonna do next, right? So I know like people may think dang you guys are going so deep but like we are trying to be Examples, that's it. We have to lead from this place have to because before you think that we are just A tv host a podcast host and a lawyer that's sitting on this podcast like talking to you We are real people absolutely that have like gone through things And I think we just got into a space in our life where we're like, we're no longer being these people We are so tired of pretending and performing and Trying to make it seem like we have it all together and I think that this new space and this new business like that I really feel like God is like Leading us is like you have to go through the development first so you can talk about it from a pure place because I think I found out that Even when I was like performing earlier this year in my business in my podcast course in this event It was all from a space of like Well, I already put it out there and I gotta keep going Um I don't want to lose the momentum.

Right? Right. Right. And it was like, even though I'm so exhausted, even though I probably need to like submit this to God, even though I need to just like have a moment to actually create and like lay out the plan and like figure out a strategy. I've already presented myself to be this person. So I have to complete it.

I have to show up. It would totally shatter your perfection image. A hundred percent. I'm going to cancel this. Or like, I'm not, I'm not doing this. It would have killed my pride. Like for you to even like end a relationship, you know? And like, I mean, it's just like. I, I want, I need this stuff to like work out in my life to continue to put us on the trajectory of that perfect path of that married with children by 30, you know, like all of the things, all the things.

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And it's crazy how it like literally takes the Lord, like. Hey, like, I really need you to surrender before you get caught up in this too far down the line before you make it your God, or we like already have. Like, it just totally made this big thing of it and it's just, honestly, thank God. Thank you, Lord, for like stopping us and being like, Hey, pause.

We need to, like, recalibrate, I need you to, like, sit down with a little girl, or you're going to be operating from this space for too long, and I've got so much more in store for you, for you to be coming into a room with that same insecurity, and like, we just call it for what it is, of like, you know, no one's asking me, so therefore I can't speak, and it's like, ooh, we gotta heal that, Isn't it interesting how the more you avoid that, I just like had a whole epiphany just now, but like the more you avoid that it shows up in every area of your life.

It's so disgusting. It is disgusting. I feel disgusting. I feel so disgusting. I just thought about like, Ooh, that's actually happening right now in one area and I'm like, that's why. Yeah. And I think it just is literally shining a light on that and like, okay, we've got to heal this area so we can stop coming from this place.

Right. Because nobody's hurting you. You know what I mean? Like, you're hurting yourself.

Oh my god. I think it's so interesting. For me, it's a safety thing. So I'm not going to put myself in a situation that could potentially make me unsafe. Right. Or something that I can't control. Mm. So I'm only putting myself in relationships. Mm. That I can, like lowkey micromanage. Wow. Or I've got this like, leg up in Yeah.

Like, I've done a little bit more, uh, emotional work, or I've walked with the Lord a little longer. Mm-hmm . So I'm like, I'm safe. You know, or just, and I, I don't even know how that plays into like with. Showing more of my authentic self in the social media light, because definitely I didn't really want to share in that way.

Yeah. Because I knew that it was going to basically probably make me unsafe. Wow. And it was so crazy though. Like exposing more of you? Yeah. Or getting vulnerable in that space? But like allowing people to like see, I guess. And I think I needed to become safe, recognize that the Lord has made me safe. I'm safe in him.

So I'm so I can now step out into these new places without fearing my safety. Yeah, that's so good. So crazy, though, because I can think back to moments of my life where I didn't do something out of safety. We're like, I definitely can be very risk averse. I mean, you know, I started my own firm. I did all of these things.

Like, you know, it's like these things are showing outwardly, but they can be very calculated risks where it's like, you share your voice. There's nothing calculated about that. You don't know if one day your thing is going to blow up. You don't know if one day they're going to be like, I really don't like your hair and the person that you are is trash or like, you know, you just, it's not calculated.

It ends. It's it's like, and I think we've talked about this before where it's just like, I think for me, like maybe I've like walked through that path already with like getting all of these like crazy on social media, on social media. Well, it started like in the news industry where we would get like all of these like you're exposed.

We weird like comments and I did get comments about my hair actually, which was like, I Honestly, now I probably agree with them because like my hair was crazy! My hair was like, y'all don't look like, lowkey like, now I'm like, natural, like you can't talk to me crazy. Now I know how to do my makeup. You know what I mean?

But like, you can't talk to me crazy no more. That is a word. You can't. That's a word. But you know, that comes from the walking through it and being in seasons where the Lord reaffirms your identity in you. 100%. So it's like, you know, you feel like I'm not heard. I haven't been heard in these spaces and no one's asking me.

Right. And the Lord's like, let's sit in that and recognize that. In all of those spaces, I heard you and I saw you. Right, right. And literally for me, it's like been this process of sitting with spaces where I felt like I wasn't safe. And the Lord has been having me like, revisualize it and recognize that he was there all along.

And so it's like, now I need you to go into these new spaces. And without that mindset of, I'm not safe. But this new mindset of, okay, this is so not safe, but like, ooh, I feel you. Yeah. God, you are here with me. Right. You've made it so clear to me that you've literally never forsaken me. Right. You've never left me.

Ever. Even when I felt in the most danger. Wow. Missions in Africa. Oh my god. Danger! Girl, are you telling me you went to Africa? In like In the In literally the Um, I can't even think of what it's called. The village. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I mean, in the darkest parts of the earth. No light. I was like, honey More power to you.

That's why I'm like, you're so much. And this is where I think friendships are so important. Like having to affirm and reaffirm, like, you're so strong. Like, you're just, I don't want to be strong no more. I can't do this. like having to be like, affirmed and like looking at your journey, I always tell you, like, I'm so inspired and like empowered by you because even being in this Place like where I'm at and just like my new space and everything.

It's like, I feel like I got this boldness Yeah, I love that because I've been watching it. Yeah, I've been inspired I got like touched in like, yeah, just connect it through it. Like I got a little energy That's like It's just it's contagious. I think that's why same thing for you though It's like I get reminded that your walk sometimes is not always about you It's about other people and serving him and like being the light because your walk and your story can truly Save someone it really can and I think that's why for me like when I think about this new Journey of like authentic media like it's Sounds like two words, but like when I say there's so much power behind it, like it's not just like, we're just not up here.

Like I'm just not up here out here presenting myself and like trying to like give you guys some like fun social media videos and stuff. It's like, there's so much. So much purpose behind it now versus where I was like, yes, I think before I was just producing just to produce and just to get things out there and like, you know, just trying to figure it out.

And I think we all go through that season. So like, I'm not trying to sit here and be like, you need to have it figured out because I do think like going through that. Yeah. Like you got to start somewhere, but I just think for me now it's like, it's just so different. And I think I've even said it. I was like, even when I put.

out the first post, I was like, this feels so different. This feels right. This feels aligned. This just feels, it feels so different. Like nothing I've ever produced before or like released before. I'm just like, I know God is in this all over it. And I think that's why for me, I have to be. Very careful. And I will be careful.

Like if I don't feel like posting, I'm not, you know, I will show up when I need to, but I'm not, I'm no longer doing it. Yes. So many boundaries, but like, I'm no longer doing it from a survival mindset from this space of like, look at me, like, look at me out here. Like, no. I'm like, this is me. Like, I need to be heard.

Right. It's like, ah, he's already heard me. Yeah. He hears me. I'm just actually being the messenger. Yeah. I'm being the ambassador of God, of the Lord, of the word. That's it. I like, we're just ambassadors. I think the hardest part is just not knowing where it goes. I was like, I just don't know where this goes, but it's so beautiful though, that this is where it's just like the Lord can be trusted.

And if you don't follow him, like there's a lot of goodness in him. Even in that, like, like before when I was like producing, I think I was, Really scared to share him. Um, Yeah. And I had to think about why. You didn't want to offend people. That! I didn't want to offend people. And I think I was like, I don't want to try to convince people.

And I think even the Lord convicted me in that. And he's like, I need you to get that out of your mind. And maybe also like the authenticity of what your walk really looks like. Yeah. And you're like, I don't want to also like pretend like I'm doing more than I, you know, I think, I think one time you did say something about like, Abraham, but you meant Moses.

Girl, who knows? But you know, it's like, it just wasn't authentic. And now you're like, you're finding yourself. More in the word and like seeking him more for direction and guidance and so yeah. You were true to yourself. Hundred percent. So it was a true version of you. Yeah, I think it was, but it just wasn't, yeah.

I just, the fullness of where you really need to be in leading from a hundred percent. Yeah. And I think it's more so like I never, and I don't think I ever had like spoken from a place I haven't walked through yet. Mm-hmm . Yeah. And I think that like I hadn't walked through it. I hadn't walked through it.

Yeah. I hadn't really sat with myself. Let me tell you. Yeah. You're going to hear a whole different version. You'll be like, who is this person? She's really sharing but it's crazy because it's like that's the version of you that the Lord wants to expedite. Mmm. And like Move and have do things. Yeah, it's like, okay, now you're willing to like, yeah, from this place.

And that's, that's the only place that touches other people's lives, right? Is like that true authenticity. Yeah. And I think that's why it's so important to like, we have to, we have to have to speaking from experience, like both of us release this space, this identity of like, release it. Come on, let's do it together.

Let's release Yes. We're releasing perfectionism. Like, we're releasing performance. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. It's gonna hold you hostage. And it no longer serves you down the line. By pretending to be something you're not, and I think, like, let's even dive into, like, how do you know if you're, like, in performance, like, how do you know if you are operating in your perfectionism, and I think for me, it was like, okay, if I'm operating from a space of, like, people pleasing, um, if I'm trying to, I talked about this earlier, but if I'm trying to adapt to The language of the people I'm around, like say they're like speaking slang or they're cussing and then I start cussing, you know what I mean?

Like in that space. Like you're like really over, like, you know, exerting yourself on, like you're trying to feel accepted. So you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, wait, what? You don't talk like that. That's not you. That's not you. Yeah. And so I think that's when you know you are operating in a space of like performance perfectionism.

Um, so I know. Moving quickly. Moving quickly. You're not like, are you taking a moment to pause? Yeah. Like hustling. Yeah. Producing. Um, yeah. For me, it was like, for, I think the performance piece for me was really from a space of like, we talked about earlier, but like, you know, I was in cheer for like 12 years and I was always on stage and then I went into TV, so I was always on the camera and it was like, even in that space, when I worked in the news industry, I remember I adapted to it.

did this. Oh my God. Like you can go Google it. I don't care. But like if you go find like my old videos, I remember like talking like this, like news anchor, like this is what they say, like how you have to talk. And I'm like, yeah, can you give us that? That's like a trend on like social media. Can you give us news anchor?

Uh, how would you tell us the weather today is 95 degrees. Good morning, everyone. Welcome into the Authentic Media Podcast. Outside right now is 93 degrees, more like 70. You want to actually make sure you have that jacket near ya. Isn't that crazy? Like who is that? That's crazy. That's crazy, right? That's crazy.

It's so wild. Cause it's like, we really are. I am, I'm putting on a show like good morning. I think it's like, I think that for me it is that out of body. Oh, I do. Okay. What's yours? I don't even know. Come on. Let's hear it. Like you have to give me an announcement. Okay. Um, you guys should come to family night tonight.

Oh my goodness. Hey church. We're so excited to have you here. We would love to see you this weekend at family night. There's going to be games, food activities, and so much more.

That's it. And like, you felt that, you felt that through the camera, you're coming to family night. Tell me why that was actually an announcement she's read before. Yeah, I have. So it came, it came naturally.

Yeah. But I think when you have out of, out of body experiences and you see that and you're like, yes, like I can do that well for whatever purpose that is. And it does look good and it It sounds good and people are excited to come, but it is just like, what are we doing? What are we doing? Especially from your platform.

You know, it's one thing to be like a video announcement. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in that way, it still was a lot, but it's a whole other thing to be like, this is my brand and who I'm presenting myself as, like, am I being fake or am I just being who I am? I think another one for me was like, that's crazy. I know.

It's crazy how we just like went into that mode, how like we could still turn it on. It's like, yeah, but we're going to leave that. Yeah. It's not, it's not a. I'm going to put that aside, but I think another one I think we talked about before was even like operating. Okay. So when you're trying to operate in perfectionism and performance, it's also adapting an identity of someone you admire that you're trying to compare yourself to.

How interesting is that? There was a season where I was like really admired by a couple of women and I think I was like literally doing everything they were doing and copycatting, copycatting, like stop it. Yeah, but when you don't know who you are and where you're going and you don't know who you are, you don't know the authentic version of yourself.

You haven't sat down to say who are you? Girl, sit down. Look her in the eye. And see where she's broken and get that healing in this space so you can release your voice for who you are. And I feel like you can't even get your direction for where you're headed until you sit in that space. That was a word for me.

Praise God. She's like, you don't even know what you're doing yet. Yeah, I mean, but really you can't get Direction. You don't know because you literally haven't asked the Lord. You haven't sat quietly now. It's still with yourself enough. Yeah. To even have an idea of like, okay, this is a new version of yourself that I want you to release.

But I think that there are so many moments in my life where I recognize that I'm not leading from an authentic place. Honestly, I guess if I know that I'm hiding parts of myself. Yeah. Right. Or like, I'm not sharing who you're around. Right. And it's like, and another thing for me is like, if you don't ask me, then I don't need to tell you.

Mm. Yeah. So now it's trying to figure out how do I show up fully as myself that, I don't know, like stir something in somebody to ask me those authentic questions that demands the barrier breaker. And I think also, Realizing where can I share here and be for real. Yeah, right. I think I wasn't looking for that.

You weren't looking for that? I wasn't looking for spaces. When I was operating from perfection, like, it was like I was. hearing those moments come up where I could maybe share something authentically and I could share a version of that that only required a certain level of vulnerability. Right. And I could do that well.

I could fake vulnerability. Wow. Well. Yeah. I'm sharing something. Right. You feel close enough to me, right? But I know you're not, I'm not, you're not scratching the surface. So it's like, I can give you that answer or I can give you the real. So there's still a wall. Yeah. And so I have to actively choose.

Actively. Yeah. Where I'm like, okay, like we were at, uh, that dinner table. I was about to ring it up. Yeah. And it was like, I don't know some of these women we're sitting down with. Yeah. And I could totally give this fake answer of like, you're like, Lord is doing so much good in my life. Yeah. And I could share something that sounded super vulnerable.

Right. You're like, yeah, it's, it's going good. And then until you hear someone else share something really deep. And then I'm like, I didn't really want to go there. Okay. But then, yeah, you recognize like either I could not go there or I can restructure my answer to like give you a part of myself, which I don't know.

There's so much bravery in that. And like, I feel like there's so much reward in that. Like sharing. Yeah. 100%. And like, even if it's for you or for the people at the table, like, yeah, I feel a release of like, yeah, you can continue walking towards who you actually are. Right. Because you I trust you to share.

Yeah, I trust you to show areas where like the Lord needs to be glorified Because that's ultimately also what it is like those struggle moments like when we don't share those places We're not giving him glory hundred percent what he's done. Yeah, it's interesting because it's like God really knows Like the desire of your heart and he knows You I think it's funny how When we still operate or think that like I'm being my full authentic self You know It's like deep down.

Yeah, and I think this is another Exercise you can like really identify when you are authentic Operating imperfectionism or performance, if you don't know, like, I would say, like, check your gut. That's it. Like, check your gut. If you feel like this strong, like, twist and turn in your gut, it's because you're being convicted of something that you need to address.

You're not being honest. honest, um, patterns. Yeah. Like I just, when you find yourself in the same situation over and over and over and over again, we haven't learned the lesson. And you're like, what am I doing here again? And then you're like, Oh, I'm not doing this the way that I need to be doing this. So I need to go.

back to the Lord and like gain a strategy for how to share myself authentically in relationships because I'm in the same relationship that I was just in. You're like, this looks familiar. So familiar. And it's definitely an out of body experience of like, what am I doing here? We just learned this. We just learned this.

We thought we did. We thought we did. But we're seeing this again. And I think that that's such a check of like, yeah, 100%. Pause. I've got to get out of this, and I need to go check in with myself and figure out what it is that I'm doing that's leading me back to this space. What am I doing that's attracting this?

Because I think that that's also a part of it, right? When we start leading from an authentic place, we start attracting the right things. Things that are also, people who are also aligning with, Like the things of, you know, of authenticity and they're leading from that place. And I think even for yourself, like you do that so well as well.

Let me pay you a compliment because you know, you went first and Stan and being on the microphone and you know, sharing your voice and even when you did or you didn't know what you were actually talking about, you were speaking, speaking and that's so brave. Yeah. Thank you for that. And who knew I needed a sister in you to do that first.

So that's like what the Lord will use out of your business and out of like your ministry in that of like, you're going first. You're not going to start instructing people and mentoring people on how to get to the authentic version of themselves without you going there first. That part. And that's what you're doing.

That part. A hundred percent. And that's good. I'll share first. That's so good. And I think it's good because like, I thought about this for a while as far as like, you know, like how does the Lord want to use my gifts to help people? And I think that's why I like when I think about just like the essence of like authentic media and how like, it sounds like two words, but for me it's like so deeper than that.

And how like on the outside it could come off as like, yeah, I'm just helping people. Like develop brands, but it's like, no, it's like so much more deeper than that. Mm-hmm . And even though it starts with like, okay, figuring out like who you are as a person, like I can definitely see like down the line, like the Lord showing me, like helping people use their voice.

Which is so interesting. This is good. How I had to learn. Yeah. How to use my voice. I think that that is where you said you go first. I think it's I'll go first. And honestly, I think that that's kind of been the mantra of my life. Yeah. Of like, I mean, in so many areas, like of just like actually, like, you know, Pursuing purity through my journey with the Lord, of like, choosing not to like, honestly be promiscuous, and not seeing very many people or my friends like, do that, but being like, I'll go first.

Pursuing the Lord, you know, when it was just so unpopular to like, not go do all the other things. It was just like, I'll go first. And I think that that has to be when you recognize that you're a leader and when you have something in you that requires you to go first. And like, that's for you, like, you know, like you're going first.

Yeah. You're choosing to go first. It's hard. It is hard, but it's going to be worth it. And it's going to help people. It's like, I'm not asking you to do anything that I didn't already do. Right. That part. And I'm so glad you said that because I think if anything, like that's the message I truly want to get through my platform is that I am never speaking from a space that I have not walked through like ever.

And I can't fake it. Yeah. And I think it goes back to like, this is why I don't lie. I'm not a liar. I don't like to lie. I cannot do it. It's like, this is why I don't lie. Not that, like, I don't like to, I've tried, and I've got caught every time. Like, it's just not my character. do it. I was like, I'm not wired.

I just, like, I can't do it. And so, like, that's good. So, yeah, like, For sure. I'm definitely always like speaking from the space of like, Hey, this is what I've learned and I just want to learn, like, I want to share this like information that I like. I'm only commanding this of you too though. Right. Cause you're going to have to command people to do things that are super.

I mean, but I think that that's what it is. Like when you've gone first in it and I can see this even for myself because yes, I do love the law and I think I see myself doing that for some time. But I also see. Leading other, either women or like young entrepreneurs who like want to start their own firm and like want to do it in a new era.

I don't see a lot of people doing it in this new age way, right, right. With the Lord. So with the Lord. So yeah. Yeah. Hello. I'll go first. Welcome. Right. So it's like, I'm rocking this. And so someday I'm going to lead someone to do the same, but I had to go first. So then I'm going to be able to be like, Hey, you need to do this.

And they're not, that's going to be uncomfortable. You need to start your social media platform. You need to actually develop in this direction. You need to take that opportunity, you know. But it's like, I did it also. Right. So we're speaking from a space of like, experience. There's authority in that.

Because you had to do it too. 100%. So it's like, we're not like these fake experts. coaches and gurus out here that are like, you know, go make a million dollars tomorrow. Like I did it. Go start a YouTube channel tomorrow. Go start a podcast tomorrow because it's so easy. No, it's going to be actually hard.

Yeah. Like it really is. But you have to do it, but you have to do it. And we have a system that can get you there faster, but like, just trust the process. And I think that just goes back to like, the essence of this entire conversation is like, trusting the journey that God has you in, trusting the process that you will get everything you Desire, but you must one seek first the kingdom of God and you must lean on him and trust Like we can't be out out here being passive believers.

You cannot right? We have to really trust the Lord. We have to choose to lean on him, you know and not understand what's exactly going on But like choose to trust him anyways and just trust that like it's Like you said, like he's ordering our steps and we're going to get to where we need to go. We just got to keep walking and keep rechecking ourselves to make sure that we're continually like leading from this authentic space, you know, not getting away from that.

But I'm excited for what's to come. I'm excited. It's new things for both of us. Yeah. So you got to stay tuned. Make sure you follow our social media handles. Yes. I'm on TikTok. I'm on TikTok really now. Yeah, you are. And you're doing amazing, friend. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. You really are killing it.

I'm, I'm showing up. Like, you're doing it. You're, you're commanding. You're doing it. You're like, hey, you need to keep showing up. Yeah. Did you see those videos I sent you? Oh, wait. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. I did. They were so on time. She's like, I was cracking up to keep doing it. You need to show up like it. You may think it's not perfect and you need to show up.

So that's that though, right? You're telling me what to do. Yeah. I'm like, you're doing it. You've done it. Keep doing it. It's going to get hard at first. Yeah. The first week going, yeah. The first week it's like, it's exciting. Yeah. I'm like, I don't want to release that. And then like the week two, you're like, what?

It's so funny. I just made this video. That was about first. Yeah. Like that was about like, they, they tell you to be like social media creator, but like, this is actually what it looks like behind the scenes. So I made like this blooper video. You guys probably already seen it by the time this episode airs.

Yeah. But like, it's just so funny because it's like, yeah. I want to show the real authentic behind the scenes. Like this stuff is not like, can't get my words out. I'm saying the same thing. Literally like, is this going anywhere? Am I saying what I need to be saying? A hundred percent. Okay. So how do you want to end in the podcast?

What do we want to end the people with? I don't know. I guess like, what does bravery look like in the next thing? What does bravery look like in your next season? I think it really is like showing up just as like my full self. Wow. No longer doing this like filter version of myself, even just like, yeah, like makeup is a filter.

A hundred percent. Like I wouldn't show up to a date or a conversation with a guy that I'm interested in without makeup on. Right. But like, I feel like in this new season, like take it off, girl. I may like not have makeup on sometimes, you know, it's just like that version of myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. or be willing to take the call without makeup.

I'm like filtering these things. Let's go. And I'm like, okay, I think it's causing like, yeah, bravery to show up like authentically in that space without even thinking about hiding. Right. I'm just going to do it. Yeah. So that's good. New year to me. That's so good. What about you friend? Dang. I knew you were gonna ask me that.

So what does this next season look like? It looks like patience. and trust. Yeah. And I think for me, it's like, even when I don't understand it, even when it doesn't make sense, even when I don't know what tomorrow looks like, number one, God is still good. Always will be. He is right here with me. I'm not alone, but just trust that like what's on the other side of this surrender is so much So much bigger than I could ever imagine.

And I probably haven't even thought about it. So just know it's going to be good. And just to wait in that space is brave. Yeah. And I think like being proud of yourself in that. Yeah. Of like the old version of yourself. The old Danielle would have hurried, rushed, and hustled. 100%. And thought, okay, I can get myself out of this.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, okay. I'm gonna be brave and not do all the things that I thought I needed to do. Girl, I'll be asleep by nine o'clock and I'm okay. Ah, get it girl. Yes. You an elder. She almost 30, y'all. I am almost 30. That's crazy. It's about to be a new era. I'm excited for you, honestly. I love you, friend.

I love you, too. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for watching the Authentic Media Podcast YouTube. At Authentic Media Company, our mission is to help you develop an authentic brand so you can make the impact that you are called to make. To make, if you've got anything from today's episode, make sure you drop a comment down below.

I'm interested to see what your takeaways are. And if you haven't already, make sure you're subscribed to our YouTube channel. So you can be the first to know when we drop our newest episode in the meantime, have a great day.

Yeah. It was like, it was like a mini little,

Wow. Because, like, for me, like, I didn't feel ultimately safe, like, in childhood. Yeah. Like, I think growing up with, and I love my parents, and my, One of my parents doesn't do this anymore, but like growing up in a household like where drugs are being sold, people are coming in and out of your house, you know, you're being exposed to lots of different lifestyles.

There's just so much lack of safety that I think when I got the moment to control my narrative and control my image and control, control, control, control, control, you know, when I got so like, when I got the opportunity to do that, I did it. And I created a dang. good image. A dang good image. And the Lord was like, no.

I mean, like I was doing all the things I was like, I mean, for me, like ministry was always like my goal. So it was like, I will put myself in every situation to get my next thing, um, to ultimately, hopefully, like, it was like, hopefully to become a pastor someday because I knew I felt this burning desire of like preach on the inside of me.

Right. And so I was just kind of like checking the boxes, um, per se. I mean, of course, I was trying to do it from a pure heart. Um, but that was my drive. Right. And the Lord was like, Yeah, girl, like the way that I got your life going is like, that is not, not that preaching and all that stuff is not a part of it, but you can't hide yourself behind these images and like, of being this just, you know, really great church woman, church girl, all of these areas.

And that is like a first. Wow. That's a first. I feel like you just told me you love me again. I do love you. That's so cute. Really, but that's like a first, you know, I mean. And when we think I definitely do have relationships in life, but it was like specifically recognizing this person needs me to create a safe space for them.

Yeah. Yeah. We definitely did that for each other. Like, you know, like it was reciprocated. Hundred percent. And I think even when I think back to like this, These last couple of like months and how like you've been there for me in a way and I've been just so blessed for you and to have a friendship like you because you were the first person that I called, you know, like, Oh my God, like we had to like, you know, have this like mini intervention here because I'm going to break down, you know, and I don't know if I can save myself anymore because that's.

Right. Because nobody's hurting you. You know what I mean? Like, you're hurting yourself.

Oh my goodness. Hey church. We're so excited to have you here. We would love to see you this weekend at family night. There's going to be games, food activities, and so much more.

Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, okay. I'm going to be brave, and not do all the things that I thought I needed to do. Girl, I be asleep by nine o'clock and I'm okay. Ah, get it girl. Yes. You're an elder. She almost 30 y'all. I am almost 30. That's crazy. It's about to be a new era. I'm excited for you, honestly. I love you, friend.